Until I Begin Again: Managing the Winter Blues

A writer with nothing to write is a recipe for disaster! Luckily, I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve to hold me over until the next project …

Hello January! There You Are!

I have a confession to make: I’m feeling a little … depressed. It isn’t crippling, but it is unusual for me, even in the coldest, darkest part of the year. This feeling has only just come around—showed up at the door with a suitcase and a smile as if it intends to stay a while. I’m a gracious host (at least that’s what my friends tell me), but I’m not in an entertaining kind of mood.

I plan to send it packing. But first, I need a project.

Because that’s what this is all about, I’m certain. This month dawned so bright and beautiful. Sunny. Unseasonably warm. It ushered in hopes for a 2019 as exciting and successful as 2018 was—maybe more so. We’re not the resolution type, but Brian and I have spent the last nine days eating mostly vegetarian and keeping completely clear from alcohol of any kind. It’s a reset. It’s about health and wellness and good beginnings. My forthcoming novel, Chronicum (we’re changing the title again, but I’ll tell you about that another time) is breezing through the editing process. We have a ton of exciting trips planned for the year.

There’s a lot to look forward to. So … why the malaise?

I always like to think of January as a blank composition book. It’s the start of that slow time of year when there’s nothing tangible on the horizon until mid-spring. It’s an opportunity to be productive. Industrious. It’s a chance to get a lot of great creative work done. These are the times writers live for!

Only … I don’t have anything to write right now.

A Way to Chapter One

The solution seems obvious, right? Longtime readers will remember we were here at this time last year (though my outlook was slightly rosier). If this unfamiliar depression is annoying enough that I’m blogging about it, why don’t I just write another book?

Brilliant idea! Only … I sort of have to remember how. Don’t misunderstand. I have an idea. It’s nebulous at the moment. But it’s there, nonetheless. The problem really gets distilled down to something like this:

For me, starting a new book is like dumping out a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle on the ground and trying to put it together without looking at the picture on the box. Of course, there’s a method: find all the edge pieces and assemble them, group all the pieces with like colors and start mashing them together until something fits. In time, the big picture comes together, but …

When you’re obsessed with productivity like me—when you can’t help but measure progress with tangible words on a page—all of this initial assembly and grouping can feel like a whole lot of nothing. That this process is essential in finding my way to Chapter One doesn’t help this nagging feeling that I’m just …

Doing nothing.

The Chronicum Process … On Repeat?

Last winter, I chewed on the central ideas of Chronicum for half of December, all of January, and most of February before I really got started writing. Sure, I cranked out the first version of the book’s prologue on a Friday in the beginning of February, but the substantive work didn’t begin until about three weeks later. And I realize all that time spent chewing was really the story crystalizing in my mind before I committed it to text.

But it still didn’t feel great. There’s this immense disconnect between what I know is essential, and what feels like progress. But you know what? Last time, it worked. When I finally sat down to write Chronicum, I finished it in eight weeks. Now, if everything goes smoothly, it could be on your bookshelf sometime this year.

And so, I think my best bet is to try putting the Chronicum Process on repeat. Last year, while I waited to start, I read extensively. I painted our dining room. We painted all of our trim. Oh, and I even blogged a bit.

This year, the bathroom needs a new coat, and I have at least seven doors to sand, prime, and paint. That should take up a month of chew-chew-chewing right there. Oh, and there are a couple floor tiles to replace in the kitchen. And I should really get back into swimming. And we’ve been eating a lot more bread recently; maybe I should start baking again. And … And …

And of course Chronicum isn’t quite done. There’s at least one more round of edits. Then I’ll be working on back cover copy, and sharing the new title with all of you. And it’s never too early to start promoting, right? You’ll pick up a copy when it comes out, won’t you?

Hmm … Seems like the plate is pretty full after all. Sure, the writing itch will continue to nag until it’s scratched. But I’ll get there.

I think I’m already starting to feel a little better.

Share your thoughts! Can you stand to be without a project? How do you manage the time between? Does 2019 hold any creative ambitions for you? Let me know in the comments below.

Thanks as always for reading,

Gregory